Chili Pepper red...

The house is slowing beginning to look normal again. My soul is beginning to unwind after 3 FULLLLL days of painting some rooms upstairs. It's over. And I'm happy. It feels good to have chili pepper red walls in my laundry room and a green guest bedroom. Because I've had my head consumed with painting and getting ready for guests to fly in tomorrow morning, I don't have a lot going on up in my brain or in my heart. I guess it's there. I'm just not tuned in right now. I'm intrigued that as I am painting my laundry room so many huge things are happening in other peoples' worlds. An old high school buddy passed on this week leaving a husband and 2 small children, a dear couple I love is working out the details of their divorce, and another good buddy is waiting for her dad to die after his leukemia took a turn for the worse. The man that told me he had diarrhea quit his job today....got angry after being confronted on his work ethic. I don't know all the details. I wish he would have stayed around.

Good times....

We've had some hard things come our way over the past few days. I won't go into all the details but there has been this prevailing darkness that has hovered closely and heavily over my soul.

One thing that kicked it off was that my hubby came home from work one night last week to tell me that one of his employees didn't show up for work that day and that he didn't call in. Usually what that means in the line of work my husband does is that the guy has gone back to the street and is in a pretty bad spot....where usually drugs and jail are involved. It's all a hard thing to explain but I see these fellas day in and day out. I hear their stories as they show up weekly to Bible study. I watch them try to make changes in their lives because they are sick of their old lives. I love it. So, all I can say is that I'm their fan. I root for them. Man, I wonder after hearing about their lives if anyone has ever rooted for them. Gotten up underneath them and rooted them on. My husband is more directly involved in all of that but from the sidelines I'm like "all in". My heart goes out to them. Anyways...it was like after hearing this guy was gone and then another bomb exploding on my husband and I, I really felt I hated this dark cruel world where no survivors are left standing. No one makes it out. The enemies are too many and too fierce. Seriously. I struggle with all that holding onto hope stuff and that God makes good of stuff. Anyways...I had been wrestling to hold on....and the next day I get a text from my husband telling me that the guy had a bad flu bug but was back to work the next day. I was relieved. Then I ran into the guy today and told him how worried I was for him when he didn't show up or call. He proceeded to tell me of the bad case of diarrhea he had while he was out. My heart smiled. I love that he told me of his ferocious diarrhea.

The decision has been made....

The decision has been made.....

Billu's wife will be named.....Gina. We wanted you all to know. Billu and Gina. Somehow we came up with it in the car coming home from an open mic night we host at work.

I had the unique privilege of meeting a little 1st grade girl named Destiny. I can't stop thinking of her. This world is a hard place for us adults...seems to be even harder for kids. I've never considered myself to be one of those women that is ALL into kids...yet my heart bleeds for kids and the lives they are born into. I have grown over the years to appreciate, value, treasure, delight, and belly laugh at the little glimpses children bring into the way God thinks. I don't know this little gal's story but could gather some info just from the 2 hours we sat beside one another at the open mic night. I asked her if she liked school and being in the 1st grade and she said boys were mean to her...AND even girls were mean to her. She made a point to emphasize (with piercing serious eyes and all) that even girls were mean. We sat whispering back and forth enjoying the show and it was like she couldn't get close enough to me. She taught me about making a face out of pepperoni pizza. I loved it. Then she methodically ate the eyes. Somewhere in the middle of that interaction she asked if the kids that were with me had the same mama. I didn't even know that was an option when I was in the 1st grade in small town Indiana. I liked talking with this little gal.

Regularly, I feel like I'm still fumbling around trying to find myself here in Chicago as a recently married woman living in the inner-city. Sometimes I get afraid that I've lost connection to my heart simply because most days I feel so incredibly out of my element. I mean come on...marriage AND inner-city living seem like foreign waters to be paddling my little soul around in. For rizzle my fizzle.

Anyways, I came home and made some comment to John about maybe feeling more at home in my own heart after that night of hanging with my new buddy Destiny. She was like a little sponge that soaked up any attention I'd give to her. I was blessed.

Waiting for his water to warm up.....

Sometimes you have to savor the fun moments of life....
John (my hubby) is usually up with the chickens so when I opened my eyes at 8am this morning with him beside me, I was a little confused. He was hogging the new fuzzy blanket I put on the bed last night because our house is freezing, and was groaning about how tired he was. He got up, staggered to the bathroom to let his shower water warm up and came back and had a fuzzball from the fuzzy blanket stuck in his gotee. For some reason it made me crack up. He was SO into his bed that he got some on his face. I love it when we're both goofy and in silly moods. Having fun is...so fun.

Birds make my heart happy....

Here is our son, Billu and his new wife "we don't have a name yet". I wanted to share with you that JUST NOW we caught them snuggling for the first time. That seems like a miracle that the two of them have bonded after Billu has appeared to be a rather "cold" bird. We heard from somewhere that parakeets are really social and friendly creatures. Billu doesn't send off those vibes. After watching a set of bird training videos that my husband got for Christmas last year, we have made NO ground with the little bird. He continued to suck himself to the side of the cage and scurry away from us as hard as he can when we open the cage door and attempt to enter his cage. Not so much bonding going on between Billu and his parents. Seems like our suspicions were right that Billu has been in need of a wife all this time......

Dealing with messes 101

I had this incident yesterday at work where I ended up feeling overlooked, overstepped, and NOT considered. People mean well. They really do. I like that about these knucklehead fellas I work with... BUT whoa baby can we all approach situations differently and reach entirely different conclusions in the process. Holy cow. I'd love to spell it all out and give you a play by play of the "incident" but that isn't necessary. Sometimes being the only woman on a construction team is too much.....

Blog Dudd

I'm a blog dudd. No other way to look at it except I'm an inch into blogging and about 40 feet not into blogging. I'm a dudd when it comes to organizing and articulating the 200,000,000 million thoughts that swirl on through this brain on a day to day basis. I look at others' blogs and it looks so fun and simple to jot down a few lines on a daily basis. I'll try that....

We just went to home depot and bought 4 giant pumpkins that I'm looking at propped up on top of our kitchen cabinets. It adds a festive "fall" ambience to our bright kitchen. Then let's move right on to the bright lime green ostrich feather duster that my hubby bought for me for our 1st wedding anniversary yesterday. You heard that right...one whole year....AND a lime green ostrich feather duster. I love it. It's really quite fun to fluff around the house swabbing every little nook and cranny. AND...last but not least...we have a new addition to the family. Our pet parakeet bird Billu has been in need of a wife for some time now. He's just been sort "flat". So, we've been shopping around for a delightful little lady bird and found one Saturday night at Petco. We haven't come up with a name yet but she needs a cool one that leaves a smile in your heart like "Billu" does when you say it. Some ideas that have been suggested are "Big Bertha", "Big Mama", or a more ethnic name like the one my husband suggested, "Chante". Billu and Chante. I'm not so sure about that. Well, if anyone has any big ideas...let me know. Until then we call her whatever comes out at the time.