Me and My Skippies

Let's see here. I just got the big idea to write on my blog about 2 seconds ago. Until then I was lounging in my bed (again) resting after realizing I had too much to do to even start. We are going on a trip next week to Branson,Missouri and then 1 day after our return I am going to Zion National Park in Utah to do a little bit of a camping excursion. My husband dug out his camping equipment last night and we went through every utensil in the middle of our living room even setting up the 3 man tent on our new beautiful rug from Crate and Barrel. It looks fun. Who knows what kind of camper/hiker I'll be? I mean what is a trowel anyways. In the mean time of trying to piece together both of these trips, I helped my neighbor yesterday with some details she is working on around her house. Her best friend, which happens to be a professional organizer, flew in from California for the week to help her get her house under control. It was a remarkable experience. I came right home and got all 45 bags of potato chips out of the cabinet where I store my crockpot. They don't belong together apparently. And now my wheels are turning as to how our house is set up. I'm learning that I don't have the gift of organization. My husband laughed at my "a-ha" moment on the couch when I put that all together yesterday. I want to learn though. I want to learn lots I'm learning. I love learning. I can't seem to take it all in. Sometimes I drive myself crazy.

We had nice weather over the weekend and I decided I was going to something productive. I went to Home Depot and waded through the mounds of people with their carts of 80lb bags of topsoil and picked out some delightful little guys to plant next to our house. I picked 4 gerbera daisy plants because I think they are just too cute and then picked a couple of other plants by their names...skippies and cosmos...then some petunias because they are like velvet. So, my husband crawled around the yard picking 2 bags of dandelions and I planted a lot of little lovelies. So, I'm learning about flowers. They seem do be doing well after 5 days. We'll see how it goes over the summer.

I'm learning lots about other things too. Cooking pork-kabobs. Loving my husband. Trusting God. Resting in my restlessness. For now though I just wanted to share about my skippies.

What does this day hold?

I went to bed last night with a restless soul. I woke up with thoughts of a friend that is preparing to move back overseas for a time. i found myself aching with the thought of that. I realized I was feeling kind of bored with life and envious of others that have a clear purpose. Fluffing pillows at Crate and Barrel is great and all, but I am feeling the need for "more". More purpose, more challenge, more risk....more of a spot with my name on it. Today, as I rolled out of bed, I realized that feeling of restlessness is lingering.

So, instead of putting myself to use around the house, I plopped back in bed with my book I've been getting sucked into. Queen Noor is a captivating book and I'm seeing how much I love learning about other places in the world that have always seemed like a mystery to me. I have always heard of the struggles in the middle east but have really had no clue what it was all about. I'm not proud of my history and world ignorance. But I guess you have to start somewhere. This young American woman marries the King of Jordan. It's her life story as she joins here husband and what that looks like for her personally. It's also a great overview of the middle east conflict from the Arab perspective.

I realize after 2 hours of reading that I've been flopped on the bed long enough. I feel sort of lost and am not really even sure where to wander. I feel this faint call to be patient...to wait for things to unfold here in Chicago. I hope there is a purpose for me here. I know I didn't land right in the middle of something I have always dreamed of doing for nothing. I don't even know where to look or what to pursue or what I want. How do I stay in this day rather than think back to days of old? How do I enjoy today and see it for the awesome gift it is rather than wish for tomorrow? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Husbands loud toots =Can't sleep=analyzing the current state of my heart....

Well, here goes Blog insert #3 after 3 months of having the dog gone thing. For some reason I know this thing is good for me to write on, yet having so many sad thoughts swirling inside of me makes it seem much more risky...and unappealing. I mean who wants to say they have been feeling sad. Sadness makes me believe something major is wrong with me or at least worry about it in the middle of the night.... Yet there is this other side of my heart that somehow knows sadness is really not MAJOR...moreso a common emotion our culture is very uncomfortable with. I have no answers here.
So, I read the Bible. It says something about Jesus comforting those who mourn. I read on in other places about His yoke being easy and his burden light. I'd like to mourn and be comforted by Jesus rather than kicking my lifestyle in overdrive to avoid admitting I'm grieving some things. I'd like to feel what Jesus's yoke feels like. I don't honestly think I know what his backpack feels like. But something tells me he might show me someday. Oh how I long for that day. And a good night's sleep.