The Golden Days....

Where to begin....
Of all the things that could be used to inspire me in my blog writing...it was a song played on our radio system while working my weekend shift at Crate and Barrel. Hang with me folks. It is this swanky tune singing about the "Golden Days" with this jazzy nerd-o guy incorporating as many syllables as possible into Go-o-lden Day-e-yeah-e-yeah-e-yeahzzz. It's really an awful song when played over and over (along with 12 other songs on the CD) for an entire 9 hour shift. Anyways, the songs sort of get into me and I take them along with me for the rest of the days I'm not working.

My life has been one of LOTS of changes over the past year. So much changes when you get married, live in a new (huge) city, have to make all new friends, have no real clue as to where you "fit" in it all or what it means to be a wife etc etc etc. The bedrock foundations of my soul have shimmied a bit (or a lot) in all of this. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but sometimes it has been hard to be here. I've done lots of waiting...impatiently. Lots of spinning my tires. Lots of forgetting Who I belong to. Yet have had lots of curiosity about how God is going to "pull this one off". You see, I'm right where I've dreamed of being for YEARS. I'm living proof that we can dream with all our hearts...and God cares. But, it doesn't mean it can't be hard or lonely and take time for it all to unfold. This posting is about a particular "hard time" when the dreamer was wishing for the "Golden Days".

So, about a month ago around 2:30am when I couldn't sleep, I wondered why the "Golden Days" song would NOT leave my brain and had been there for days. Even as I sat pouring my guts out to God complaining because I didn't feel like I had friends or purpose etc etc, there was nerd-o jazzy man playing in my head about the Golden Days. Many of you that know me, know that I spent 8 months of my life in the beautiful land of Ireland. Although being there was 2 years ago, it was a season in my life that represented so much LIVING, beauty, purpose, and some of the dearest times I've had with God and friends. Not to say laughter that made my face ache. And realizations about life and love that have forever changed the way I live now and how I will live the rest of my life. It was RICH. FULL.

As I was sitting in my big fluffy chair feeling so saaaaaad, frustrated and empty, I guess I was reminded in my big puddle that THESE are golden days too and tomorrow are golden days. I don't want to miss them.

I love the people I worked with in Ireland. I loved the beauty of the country. I loved working in a position that just "fit" me. I loved people with similar senses of humor. I loved feeling like I contributed something to our team. I loved learning SO much each day it nearly made my soul explode.
But, I realized that those are all things I have with me today. Right here. And they aren't gone forever no matter how much it felt like that night at 2:30am. I asked God to bring those things that are dear to my heart to me. He has been over the past month. I like that. Only He can care for the deepest concerns of my heart.

A Hesitant Beginning

I've been toying with the idea of starting a blog since the other night when I could not sleep and had so much on my heart and a longing to just write it out. I remembered reading several of my friends blog pages and had this overwhelming thought.....man I need to write. I need to share. I want to share. But at that specific time in the middle of the night, I needed to share. So, here I sit with paint on my fingers rigging up my brand new blog page. I'm trying to paint our bathroom upstairs. I'm doing something technological and can't wait to share with my hubby that I did something new and adventurous on a computer. He loves computers. They're not my fave. Anyways, I'm always a bit hesitant to do "computer things" that involve "sharing my heart" but I'm excited to give this thing a whirl. I'll write more in the near future. I'm so proud of myself.